The first time I met Fernande * I was almost scared to tell him hello. Huddled in the middle of the stairs of his living place, she had black eyes. Overwhelming. It is true that it is atypical, Fernande. It looks like a witch. In real thing. It's an old lady so ingrained dirt that she hides the color of his skin. She is wearing rags. The real real. When I write the word "ragged" I think that the tales I was told during my childhood times. It's evocative. It reminds me of tattered imaginary Cinderella. Except with his gray hair hidden under a scarf wrapped his bare feet to the ancestral horn, and her skirt to look like a deck of XVIII, it looks more like a witch, Fernande. She's wary eye. And lightning, the first time.
I said hello anyway. I have not even scared me. She did not answer me but look at me go, I feel his eyes on my back. It is there because now stands a community meal. Later, I would suggest a drink she refused at first and it will eventually accept, on my insistence.
That was Friday. Our first encounter. So Monday when I came back, she has not responded to my hello. But she came to talk to me. " You know, the glass you gave me last time ... Yes, and there were drugs on your hands, I felt ." Here I am flabbergasted, to explain that I do not use drugs, I am not a doctor either, I do not prescribe medication ... Because yes, Fernande, she feared doctors. She tells me everything. That he was forced to come here, she just thought it was a shelter to sleep but in fact it was all sham to bring the drugs with drugs. But beware, she did not let him, she refused all medications, it does not mix, besides " watch them, they all went crazy with these pills, this drug! . When I asked him if she wants to leave here, I quickly realize that in fact it is the oldest and has more or less (pretty much) the intent to remain, for want of better .
Fernande It intrigues me. Sometimes it frustrates me. Especially when she goes after the other in their saying they are crazy. It's not like that would say, community. Sometimes I try to talk to her. It ends the majority of time in case against doctors, she brings me back to " what are you doing here? ", sometimes it tells me that I should not get involved in all these fools, that we must get paid, it's not manners. She claims to vie with it and it annoys smile sometimes. Especially when it is addressed to Benoit Found ** the secretary of state housing came to shake hands - he believes - docile. It is strong Fernande.
I see regularly sneak here and there, barefoot and dirty. She brings her cans filled with water that goes into making regular trips back to his room, 4th floor, old lady she is. She worries too much water here. She did not trust. Then she will fill the cans I do not know where and when I asked him to participate in a particular output, it sends me balls saying " But can not you see my work! J ' t have time for this shit me. " Coming from another time, Fernande! And I like it myself. I dunno, it touches me in what I am. I always smile when I mentioned in a meeting or another. A smile as when thinking about the intelligence of a child. past month, it does speak to me. She resumed withering look (I'm not afraid Fernande!), The restless eye that says something that I can decipher. I still say hello. With a big smile that tries to tell her something she will perhaps be deciphered. I suggest always participate. It does even more. I liked even his invective. I think.
Then a few weeks ago when I proposed a workshop preceded by a breakfast at the place of life, she came and stood there. She did not speak but she was there. When I took a picture of another resident, she was behind and I see in the photo, she does not escape the eye. It even has the face that is calm. A little later, she even Fernande, cling to us, eating a chocolate croissant with others. Without going to hide behind the bars of the stairs. Not there. Like this, without saying anything.
Bah yeah I was happy. Yeah it gave me the energy to move forward for this day. The presence of Fernande. With everything she has.
The week after, I tried a " Fernande, a pain au chocolate? " she dismissed me with his furious air: "But it will not head or what? I will not touch it, everybody hit with drugs on their hands, and you think I'm going to eat? Look at this! "cried she, seizing half of pastries from his hands blackened by the street. Fernande Revenue. As I do not know where, back with everything she is.
So when we wonder what to do meeting with her, I want to say "Let them do she knows ." But I do not say. Because the aid relationship is indescribable. I am having trouble naming his advanced because it would mean that its claims survoltées make it alive. Any discussion.
few days ago, I organized a writing workshop in a different place, meeting place and conviviality. While I was doing the dishes after breakfast, come here and wash hands under running water. For the first time in four months, she started a conversation with me, angry about her exit: " You come here often?" It's funny to see you there! is cleaner than over there do not you think? "(what do you want me Fernande?). At the time of writing workshop, dare one unexpected" Well then Fernande, you arrive or what? He began the workshop! . "Miracle Oh, here come" Yes, yes it will arrive! . "I almost swallowed my pen. But I'm back, sure of myself. It was installed on one of the couches," instead of King "she said, then casually said " But what exactly is here, we will write what? .
She did not want to touch a pen but remained throughout the workshop, gave his opinion on the topic, laughed as I never saw him laugh, sought my approval, exchanged with other people. Then she explained further that the coffee she was drinking, she felt that there were drugs because someone was taking medication had affected the sugar and it made him explode in the language inside. "After that's why I feel well, I am weak. is like before."
She left a little of her in this workshop. I thanked him for that. I found it courageous. Finally I had perhaps a bit wrong: it has something Cinderella, Fernande.
* The elements of identity were **
modified except him
modified except him
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